Pandora
The inexorable rise of Tom Bursnall, controversial Chair of Conservative Future, scary young Hague-a-like and ever-obliging darling of these pages, seems to have hit an obstacle. Some CF pundits, apparently, had their money on Tory Boy as a dead cert to do a Billy and become Conservative Head Boy before his 21st birthday. But recent revelations have somewhat shaken this assertion. "Any old man can drink 14 pints, but whether they can still put a sentence together is another thing," a sober Bursnall recently confessed. "I start to wobble and shake after several beers, and probably couldn't stomach 14." How sweet: a student who can't hold his liquor. Perhaps Mummy's little ray of sunshine's just not destined for Tory greatness, after all.
